Finding Peace in Chaos

First Day Jitters…ick

peaceinchaos — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 03:09:20 +0000

I was so anxious, excited, nervous for school today that I hardly slept last night. Lame I know… I really hate when I keep looking at the clock only to find that only 10 mins have passed..After a night of tossing and turning, I decided to start the morning right with my Happy Breakfast:)

This created a party in my mouth;0

In case you wanted know, the mix contains strawberry yogurt, chunky banana pieces, and warm cinanmon kashi cereal..and then I top it off with a shit ton of cinamon and truvia because my sweet tooth is a dictator. All while enjoying this five star breakfast, I watched a five star bollywood MV

My first class was conversational spanish..I figured out that I did not know a lick of spanish… 6 out of the 13 people are from Espana and the rest are majoring in spanish or just amazing…feeling a bit embaressed and slightly out of place.. I walked as fast as I could without drawing unnecessary attention to the Chem bldg for my Organic Chemistry 2 class. By far this is my weakest science…Gahhhh..Finally came bio. Yes! My love!!

I do not want to go back into the swing of things. I forgot what deadlines are. Assignments? Tests? These all sound a bit foriegn to me

Needing an escape from the suddeness of reality, I took some retail therapy.

The back to school gear!!!

If you look closely you can see my stanky foot…hahaha sorry.

Now that I am geared with supplies, I believe I can handle any silly O.Chem problem because those boots are meant for me to kick some asss;)

All I need now are some affirmations… or in other words:

WONDER WORDS

Said by Eleanor Roosevelt

What is your favorite quote? I have tons, I love quotes. A truth said beautifully makes me believe and aspire..

Definitions.

peaceinchaos — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 07:08:04 +0000

I ate chicken today. I thought about freaking out but, decided not to. First off doing this in Pei Wei would be embarrising. Secondly if it was not meat entree then it was fried. Really? really? Why is it soo hard to eat out being a vegetarian! Well probably because I live in Lubbock. Efff. Soo after taking 20 mins to decided. I went with the asian chopped salad..Napa cabbage,carrots, tomatoes,crispy wontons, seseme seeds, and lime vinegrette..oh and chicken. I hate to eat out.

After I had got past the fact that I was going to ingest chicken..I took a bite. a small bite. BUT. This was not before I meticulously removed most of the crispy wontons (why don’t they just call it fried? can’t deceive me!) and thought about removing the chicken as well..by now I was getting all types of wierd stares… I chewed,masticated,and swallowed. Hmm not too bad. Another bite a little bigger though. In fact, it was pretty tasty. Maybe even delicious..Yeah I dominated the salad bowl:) I completely forgot that I was “vegetarian”

Although I do not eat meat due to enviromental reasons and others, it was the definition of vegetarian that was holding me back. How could I possibly break what I am? I am vegetarian after all. But why should I be called that? Why should I be defined by the word. Even more so, any word? I am who I AM. I am the definition.

Does this mean I am going to start eating meat regularly..nope. I still believe in my resoning. However now, I am not going to allow myself to feel so guilty and miniscule. If I do eat it, it will not be the end of the world.

Okay okay I will stop rambaling…after..Drum roll please:)

WONDER WORDS:

“Life isn’t divided into genres. It’s a horrifying, romantic, tragic, comical, science-fiction cowboy detective novel. You know, with a bit of pornography if you’re lucky.”
~Alan Moore~

Alan Moore is the author of V for Vendetta and many others..Awesome and obvi funny man;)

Have you ever got so caught up in what you are supposed to be as opposed to just living and experiencing?

Obsessed with Monster!!!

peaceinchaos — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 02:47:13 +0000

Woke up this morning feeling like I had a hangover from hell…Tell me how does this happen with zero alcohol consumption?? wtf…But it was nothing a little dancing couldn’t cure. Lady Gaga blasted out of my speakers and bounced around the walls in my room with me. Thats right Lady Gaga and I had party in my room..jk. Is it really that weird to dance by yourself when no one is looking?? Nope didn’t think so..Im sure Lady Gaga would definitely agree with me!

Lately I have been obsessing over Gaga who has been obsessing over monsters. This lady is awesome! She immerses herself in what she does and rocks it. She commits to being an artist and exudes it in every way from her crazy ferosh outfits to the music and stage performances.

In an interview she had been asked how she got to be such a great musician. And she answered saying that I don’t know if I am a great musician but, I am the BEST Lady Gaga. Let us aspire to be the BEST me! ….Enough of the cliches. Here are some pretty Hott pics;)

Wish my Diorshow did that...

Ferrrrosh

Yeah..we bust moves together

So I had never seen this MV of Gaga’s until today..It’s pretty different from most of her stuff…Watch it!

Did you know that both her parents are from Italy? And apparently she can cook bombass pasta..We could be bff s

Anyways..Who do you listen to get yo booty in high gear? I obvi jam to Gaga or main squeeze Lil’Wayne;)

Welcoming the new year

peaceinchaos — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 21:18:55 +0000

Every January 1st many make new year resolutions in what they want to achieve, what they want to become, and what they want to attain. I mean who can resist. When else in the year do you feel like you can start clean? I also made a similar list on January 1st. It was pretty generic

1) Be more healthy 2)Workout more 3) Maintain good communication with mom and dad 4) Be more organized 5) Get a 4.0 this semester 6) Start a new blog (hehe..at least this i have made a dent in)

Well, yesterday I was sifting through some old books and I came across Maria Shiver’s book Just Who Will You Be. It was pretty short so I decided to read it and it got me thinking….

The book is about Maria’s dilemma which starts with writing a highschool graduation speech where she can not think of how to introduce herself..Is she Arnold’s wife? or one of the Kennedy’s? or a famous TV anchor? A mother? A jouranlist What am I? She asks this question to herself over and over? But discovers the more important question is “Who am I and who do I want to become?”

Even as a child, everyone asks: Who do you want to be when you grow up?

But, maybe WHO we are is not only more important but will also help define what we are. So..I went back to my old resolutions REDO..

1)Kind-hearted- how? Thinking more before I speak or take action, knowing that what I say or do can cause detriment to others..This past year I had got so caught up in what others thought of me, what they did, and what they said. I allowed this mentality to determine many things I did..and many of them I am not proud of. I had once read that ” what someone thinks of you is not your business”. This couldn’t be more true! Now that I look back, I said things and did things that I would have never done had I thought about it a second time. I became a very judgemental person. I guess this what second chances are about…

2) Caring - I never did not care about the people who were close to me. But, I am not a person to show it. I love them deeply but, I do not call them or email them or anything of the sort. I used to think that as long as you care for someone it is not important that you show it. But during finals week, a good friend emailed me wishing me luck and she was missing and thinking about me. It was probably only four sentences long but to know that she took the time to email me meant so much to me. I will make it a point to keep in contact with relatives and friends and most importantly my parents.

3) Diligent -If I had to define this point in my life I would definetly say “half-assed”. But only figuretively..HAHAHA..Whether it is with schoolwork, a relationship,or even cleaning my room, I do just enough to get by. But lately my half-assing is becoming costly and it has caused me to lose much. And ENOUGH is ENOUGH!! I am done with it! I want to be persistant and attentive in everything I do.

So will I live up to these hefty resolutions? I hope so. I need to. Only time will tell.

Follow me as I become the person who I want to be…